I Abhor Crabs

I started working right after graduating from college. I was lucky to have mentors who really have leadership skills. I have felt my mentors strong affection towards me and my work. My first employer in the Philippines was based in the U.S., my bosses were Americans. They had strong work ethics.  My second and third employers in the U.S. were also Americans.. What I noticed about my time with them. They loved me as me. They never asked me to change. In fact they loved my happy smile and exuberant personality. It helped with my job. I dealt with customers and talked over the phone. When I started working at a pharmacy in Seaside, I was the same. My bosses never asked me to change. I've had 5 Pharmacy Managers and 3 Retail Managers. We talked most of the time. Me being hyper didn't bother them. I'm a transparent person, when something or someone upsets me, it shows. It's hard to hide what I feel. But because of my work environment I was happy most of the time. 

The reason why I'm writing this is because I'm so disappointed with my current manager ( who is not American, I don't intend this to sound like I'm a racist. But it is true, I've had a lot of managers and there's no one like her) The first time she talked to me for a one on one. She had asked me to change my tone when answering phone calls. She said it was annoying for my co-workers. I pick up the phone and I talk loud. You can imagine what I was thinking, I was just happily picking up the phones and was talking eagerly to our patients. But I tried my very best to pick up calls and talk very softly after that conversation. For their sakes. Whenever higher ups want us to do something. I eagerly participate on all those things. When I do, they always express their approval. It made me happy and wanted to do more. So, it happened a lot. They compliment me all the time , maybe because I do a lot of good work. She again talked to me and said, I liked to be praised. I didn't answer. Because it was true. But she made me feel like I'm an egotistic person. When all I was doing was do what they told us to do. Only, I do it with so much bravado, I couldn't help if my big bosses praised me for it. Over the course of over a year working here, I've been an employee of the month. I've gotten commendations from the District Office, got pins and card comments from my retail manager. This one though, she made my self esteem dropped so low, I stopped smiling. In fear that when I do so, people might praise me for my genuine big smile. I tried to avoid being praised or complimented. I sulked for 3 weeks. I hated her. I called her my Dementor. Our customer delight hit an all time low at 55%. I reliazed, a f*ck it! This is me! And you can't change me. I think she has never read this quote before "if a child lives with praise, she learns to appreciate". It's not my fault they appreciate what I do. I just hope those employees who don't get praises like me stopped being jealous. And just focus on working hard, then maybe they will earn accolades too. I thought Filipinos are known for crab mentality. I was wrong, they're everywhere. 

It's true what they say, if people are trying to bring you down it means you are above them. I don't think being praised by people should be an issue. Utak talangka. This too shall pass.